


Little Pink Cross

by Geri_Lea



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 13:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geri_Lea/pseuds/Geri_Lea
Summary: Sebastian's unexpected pregnancy puts a strain on his and Jenson's relationship and it forces Jenson to decide what's important.





	Little Pink Cross

**Author's Note:**

> Posting some old fic that is only on my old LJ and not yet here - so yes, this was written and posted back in 2012.

“What?” Sebastian asks with his mouth full, and Jenson can only shake his head because he doesn’t want to be the one to point out that Sebastian was on his _fourth_ plate from the buffet at the restaurant they were at. He’d never seen his boyfriend eat so much.

“Stop watching me eat,” Sebastian mutters, cheeks turning pink in that adorable why that Jenson would never get tired of.

“Do you want desert?” The offer was a joke but he can see the suggestion was being seriously pondered.

“Nein, better not. I’ll be good.” Jenson snorts before he can even think to hold it in and then attempts to cover it up with coughing but Sebastian was glaring. “What?” he repeats throwing his fork down and beginning to look cross. “I don’t like it when you make fun of me.”

“I haven’t said anything!” Jenson defends but Sebastian was still glaring and then moments later he was on his feet. “Where are you going?”

“I’m full. I’m going back to my suite.”

“Full? It just took you four plates.” Jenson hates his mouth sometimes; it goes off before he can think about the words that are actually about to spill out. His first time catching up with Sebastian since the last race a fortnight ago, and here was watching Sebastian storm away from him. Sorry and a little confused, Jenson pays for their bill and leaves. Since when had Sebastian not been able to take a joke?

 

*          *          *

 

Jenson’s lying on the bed waiting, tired after qualifying and trying to distract himself on Sebastian’s laptop while Sebastian fussed about his suite. He figures once Sebastian had finished whatever he was doing in the bathroom, they could actually go to bed. There’s a loud groan from the half opened door and Jenson hangs over the side of the bed to see if he could see what was going on there. “Seb?”

The door flies open and Sebastian appears, standing in the doorway, _nude_. Jenson snaps the laptop closed, because _finally_. His eyes greedily rake over his boyfriend, lips curling into a grin.

“Six kilos!” Sebastian exclaims loudly. “I have put on six kilos Jenson! _Six_ , _naked_!”

Jenson blinks and Sebastian had disappeared. Though the number six was being screeched repeatedly from inside the bathroom and he was pretty sure that Sebastian was back on the scales again.

“How could you not tell me I’m getting fat?” Sebastian was back in the doorway, anger now being directed at him and Jenson isn’t sure how any of this was his fault. And there was no way he was going to get through this conversation without being kicked out of the room.

Jenson takes a long moment to carefully respond, this was not the time to run his mouth. “You look fine, I hadn’t noticed anything Sebi.”

“Do _not_ call me _Sebi_!” Sebastian shouts.

“Seb, you’re not fat.”

The change of subject sees Sebastian’s anger subside, instead he was looking at his belly. “I think it’s poking out.”

“Well you had a big dinner,” Jenson hesitantly reminds him. At dinner tonight he had made sure not to comment that Sebastian had ordered two deserts with his main and then ate all three at once, actually _together_. It had been fascinating and disgusting to watch, but he hadn’t said anything.

Sebastian seethes up again. “What’s that supposed to mean? A _big_ dinner?”

Jenson shoves the laptop off to the side and gets to his feet. “Hey,” he says concerned, “What’s wrong? I swear all you’ve done so far this weekend is snap at me. It’s not like you…”

“So I’m fat _and_ moody?” Sebastian glares at him and before Jenson could stop him, he was back in the bathroom, door slammed and the lock turned.

“Sebastian you are being ridiculous,” Jenson shakes on the door. “Seb!” Slapping the door Jenson continues to call for him. “I’m sorry; I just want to talk…”

The door flies back open and Sebastian appears dressed. He marches passed without a word and for a moment Jenson was sure Sebastian was going to actually walk out, but he’s relieved when Sebastian just crawls into bed. The blankets are yanked up over his head and he was clearly being ignored.

Jenson switches off the lights and joins him and despite that Sebastian was lying on the very edge of his side of the bed, Jenson still snuggles up behind him, pulling him close. He was just happy that Sebastian didn’t kick him away.

“Jens?” Sebastian whispers into the dark, he’d been so still for so long Jenson thought he was asleep. “Is this something?”

Jenson freezes at the question. Sebastian though was squirming in his grip and Jenson gives him the space to roll onto his back. “Of course this is something,” he eventually answers. They’d been together for well over a year, that made them something. He couldn’t even think of anyone else but Sebastian.

“Then why don’t you say it?” Sebastian was fiddling with the sheet and Jenson plucks it away from him.

Swallowing and feeling like the room had gotten very hot all of sudden he answers, “Why don’t you?”

He can feel Sebastian shrug before the quiet response comes, “I guess I don’t think you’d say it back.”

“Is this why you’re mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you!” Sebastian says frustrated and Jenson’s more than happy when Sebastian kicks off the blankets. “It’s fucking hot in here.”

Jenson moves his face to Sebastian’s, sharing his pillow. “Don’t be mad at me,” he whispers. He couldn’t stand it when Sebastian was angry with him, couldn’t stand it when Sebastian wasn’t around, couldn’t stand not sleeping with him at night. Yet despite all that, he couldn’t say _it_ , couldn’t use the big fat L word. Maybe he needed to get his head checked.

Dread suddenly fills Jenson’s chest. What if Sebastian wanted more, what if Sebastian wanted something he couldn’t give. The fear that strikes him is crippling and he can’t keep it from his tone when he whispers, “You’re not going to leave me are you?” 

“Leave you?” Sebastian’s surprised answer is followed by the German rolling towards him, arms locking around his neck and just holding him fiercely. “Why would I do that? I _need_ you.”

Jenson squeezes him tightly, pulling them as close together as possible while burying his face into his neck so he could breathe him in. “I need you too.”

Sebastian kisses his ear. “Even if I am fat?”

Jenson doesn’t answer, just squeezes him tighter.

 

*          *          *

 

Jenson’s at home recovering from his bike ride, draped over his couch when his phone rings. It was all the way on the other side of the room. He could see it glowing from where he was but to get up…so much effort. He smiles when it stops and lets his head flop back down, closing his eyes. Three seconds later and it was ringing again, and he could swear it was now louder.

Dragging himself up, he stalks over to it, brightening when he see’s Sebastian’s face on the screen. “Hey,” he answers, his annoyance gone as he beams down the phone. “What are you up to?”

“I did something stupid,” Sebastian gasps and Jenson feels his skin prickle because he was pretty certain Sebastian was crying.

“What do you mean you did something stupid?” He asks calmly because Sebastian did have a tendency to overreact on occasion.

“At my sisters,” he answers and there’s a large sob then and nothing else.

That didn’t give him a bloody clue as to what was going on. “What happened at your sisters?” he prompts gently.

“When I went to the bathroom. It was just there and I just…” There’s a hiccup now, “And I _know_ I should have left it.” Another hiccup comes down the line. “But I just…it was _there_ Jenson!”

“Sebastian, calm down,” Jenson soothes. “What was there?”

“I was curious,” he whispers. “I didn’t think…I mean…I’m _a guy_ Jenson!”

“Uh, I had worked that out Sebi,” Jenson informs him. “But thank you for that.” The fact that Sebastian doesn’t immediately go off at him for calling him ‘Sebi’ has Jenson begin to worry, not getting a response besides quiet sobbing wasn’t helping either. “Seb? What was there?” He starts looking for his shoes, just in case.

“A pregnancy test.” There’s a loud snotty sniffle on the other end of the phone as Jenson feels his heart stop. “The cross is pink. Do you think that means it’s a girl?”

 

*          *          *

 

The moment Jenson sees that Sebastian has fallen asleep, he carefully removes himself from Sebastian’s grip and eases out of bed. He had no clue, at all, how Sebastian could just _sleep_. But he slept every night like everything was fine, like having a baby was _fine_ and _normal._  Since Sebastian had peed on a plastic stick a month ago, freaked out on the phone, he had been fine. Jenson had gone to see him straight away but by the time he’d shown up, Sebastian’s was eating and _happy_.

And that was that. Sebastian was okay with all, he could sleep at night while Jenson… all he did was pace in the same spot obsessing and freaking out. He stops at the end of the bed to stare at the carpet, frowning as he does. Was he actually wearing it away?

A sigh from the bed has him whip around to stare at his boyfriend. Every odd noise that Sebastian made had him jump out of his skin. He begins pacing when Sebastian rolls over and settles back down. Calm, little Sebastian, who was _pregnant_. Jenson swears that one word just echoed in his heard everyday since he had found out. It should be impossible but he had ultrasound pictures.

He stops then and rushes out of the room to the fridge where Sebastian had stuck them all proudly. No, there were pictures. This was real and not some nightmare. Jenson plucks one off the fridge and stares at the blob. This _thing_ that was living inside his boyfriend, turning him into a sometimes moody, horny stranger. He didn’t mind the horny aspect, that was actually a plus.

The grey glob on the photo which he could just, if he squinted, _maybe_ see as a baby, could not be possible. And what did that mean? In four months he and Sebastian would have a kid? He couldn’t be a _father_. He couldn’t even do relationships. He couldn’t tell Sebastian he was in love with him, what kind of father was that going to make him? Probably a fucked up one. He traces the outline of the blob with his finger and just stares.

“Jenson?”

Jenson looks up to see Sebastian was standing there yawning. His eyes though zero in on Sebastian’s growing stomach, though it wasn’t huge, rather an adorable bump, Jenson knows what’s living in there.

“I’m hungry,” Sebastian grumbles as he makes his way to the fridge and Jenson gets to his feet to let Sebastian eat. Do not stand between a pregnant man and his food, it was a dangerous move.

Jenson watches Sebastian drink milk straight from the carton and then load his arms up with an apple, two bananas and leftover chicken from dinner. “You should be sleeping,” he comments as Sebastian sits at the bench to eat his midnight snack. “I think rest is important.”

“But I’m hungry,” Sebastian replies with his mouth full. “Stupid baby is going to be fat.” He stops then and pats his stomach as if realising he might have said something hurtful that could be heard and comprehended by the grey glob, “But it’s okay, daddy and me will still love you.” That makes Jenson smile weakly as it echoes in his head, _‘daddy and me’_. He wasn’t a ‘daddy’.

“I picked a name for her,” Sebastian grins as Jenson leans across the bench opposite and dares to pick at a piece of chicken.

“It might not be a girl,” Jenson reminds him for the millionth time. They were offered at the last ultrasound to find out the sex but Sebastian had refused, didn’t bother to ask him if he was interested, (not that he was, he didn’t care about any of it, just Sebastian). Sebastian refused to believe that it was anything other than a girl, just because of a pink cross.

“I’m going to call her, Sebastian,” Sebastian answers deadly serious that Jenson is lost for words. “I want to name her after me. _Sebastian, The First_. Because even though it should be ‘the second’, well she’s not a number two in anything. I might hyphenate ‘the first’ so it doesn’t look too silly though.”

“Uh… can I offer names?” Jenson asks.

“No,” Sebastian states. “I’m going to name my baby after me.”

“’Sebastian’ is not a girl’s name, no matter what Mark says,” Jenson argues. “If you loved this child and it’s a _girl_ , you will not do something so heartless. And ‘the-first’ is not a middle name!”

“People invent names all the time Jenson,” Sebastian snaps smacking his hand hard when he tries to grab more chicken. “And using guy names for girl’s is in. That’s what it said in my baby name book.”

“You’re not naming any kid of mine _Sebastian The-first_ ,” Jenson states putting his foot down. “No. No. No.”

“I can so name it what I want!” Sebastian shouts. “You don’t even care! You can’t even call her anything other than ‘it’! You hate her! All you’ve done is donate an orgasm and freak out! It’s _my_ baby and I’m calling it Sebastian! And she will _love_ the name and she will _love_ me. Because you fucking don’t!”

“Seb!” Jenson calls after him. He slumps down over the bench when the bedroom door slams closed. God he was making a right mess out of all of this. He needed to talk to someone and he’d love for it to be the old Sebastian, the non-pregnant one who could sometimes be rational. Unlike the current one which was just about impossible to live with.

The door flies back open and Sebastian returns to snatch up the plate of chicken. “Don’t even _think_ about eating my food,” he hisses before spinning on his heel and returning to the bedroom, this time with his food. The door’s slammed again and Jenson watches as the wall shakes. There was no way that door was going to be on its hinges by the end of this pregnancy.

Looking back at the ultrasound picture Jenson strokes it once more. “You’re fucking everything up,” he whispers to it pained. “This isn’t what happens next. _You’re_ not what happens next.”

 

*          *          *

 

Jenson really was being ignored, and Sebastian didn’t seem to want to patch anything up. The last two races of the season, Sebastian won’t talk to him or even look at him and whenever Jenson tried to approach, Sebastian would turn around and walk off. After four weeks it was too much. He and Sebastian never went this long without talking and Jenson didn’t just miss him, he was pining for him.

The season had ended and with Sebastian refusing to take his calls Jenson spends most of his days just lying on his bed staring at that grey glob on his now crumpled ultrasound picture. He rolls over to reach for his phone to leave another voice message for his boyfriend.

            “ _Hey Sebi… I miss you…_ ”

And not able to think of anything else to say he hangs up and rests the picture of his and Sebastian’s baby on his over his heart and closes his eyes. He wishes Sebastian would call him back, because his heart hurt without him.

 

*          *          *

 

It’s the day before Christmas Eve when Jenson open’s his front door to find his missing Sebastian standing there. He doesn’t even get out ‘hello’ before his arms are filled with a flying Sebastian, just about knocking him off his feet. Recovering his balance he lets Sebastian rain frantic kisses across his face, hands pulling already at Jenson’s pants. 

And they make up right there in front of his half opened front door because Sebastian can’t wait and Jenson really doesn’t care. Maybe Jenson should be wondering if Sebastian was only here for sex and nothing else, but he’d worry about that thought after. Because he missed Sebastian, missed everything about him and there was no way he was letting Sebastian out of his sight again, on a pregnant warpath rage or not. He couldn’t do this again. And as they lie in a heap on the ground, articles of clothing tossed haphazardly around them, Jenson makes the effort to move his foot and kick the front door closed.

“I forgive you for being a shit,” Sebastian says, still short of breath as he moves to snuggle into Jenson’s side.

“Good to know,” Jenson murmurs hugging him tightly more sure than anything that this was what he wanted. “I’m sorry.”

“Ja, I know,” Sebastian murmurs and Jenson can feel him smile against his shoulder, “I got all 223 messages.”

Jenson pinches his ass which produces a yelp. “I did not send that many.”

Sebastian yawns and closes his eyes. “I’m tired.”

“Let’s go to bed,” Jenson suggests his hand making a sweeping pass down Sebastian’s back that has the German sigh happily and mumble, “I like it here,” while snuggling deeper into Jenson, his very noticeable belly now pressed against his side. And when Sebastian’s breathing evens out, Jenson rubs a hand over the swollen belly, still not quite sure this was real but it was happening none the less. “I missed you too,” he whispers and his words have Sebastian clutch at him harder, maybe not quite as asleep as Jenson thought. But that was okay.

 

*          *          *

 

This might be the best Christmas Jenson has ever had. He and Sebastian, just them, no family, naked, in a bed. Oh and with Sebastian’s seemingly growing stomach. Jenson had moved so he could just stare at it, the swollen lump that apparently held a baby. Sebastian seemed happy to let him stare, and touch and poke, and kiss at it while he lay there and read some pregnancy book. It all seemed a bit pointless the book, since Sebastian wasn’t a woman but right now wasn’t the time to start an argument just when they made up.

“What are you doing?” Sebastian was looking over his book and down at him where Jenson had been humming to his navel. “Are you singing to her?”

“No!” Jenson splutters feeling his face heat up at being caught. “Read your book, you said I could talk to her.”

Sebastian tosses the book aside, one hand reaching down to rubs his side. “Little Sebastian doesn’t like it when you sing, she won’t stay still,” he grunts looking mighty uncomfortable all of a sudden. Jenson moves so he can rearrange himself on the bed but the scowl Sebastian was wearing said it wasn’t any better.

“You want a massage?” Jenson offers trying hard not to bring up Sebastian’s chosen name for their child. It was never going to work; he was never going to allow it.

“Yeah…” But Sebastian’s answer ends with him drawing his breath in sharply, face screwing up in a wince.

“What? What? What?” Jenson scrambles to sit up. “Is she coming now?” He should get dressed. Where did he keep his clothes?

“Stop panicking,” Sebastian snaps. “She has another four weeks.”

“She’s actually going to come _out_ ,” Jenson is just hit with this realisation and his eyes widen in panic. “Oh god, is she going to come out the way she came in?”

“Fucking hell no!” Sebastian looked horrified at the thought. “My doctor said they’ll just deliver her with a c-section. She’s not coming out of any hole that isn’t surgically made.”

“Okay,” Jenson nods feeling a little calmer. “Good. That sounds like a fantastic plan.” He returns to the bed. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian was still rubbing his stomach though and not looking as relaxed as he was earlier.

“We shouldn’t have anymore sex,” Jenson decides lying back down. “She might not like it.”

“Jens?” Sebastian says quietly, “When she does come, you aren’t going to freak out are you? Because I think I should get to freak out then, but one of us needs to be calm, and I really think that should be you.”

“I can be calm Sebi. I promise I’ll be calm and look after everything,” Jenson assures him with far more confidence than he felt. When it came to Sebastian and this pregnancy, he had managed to lose all his ability to be cool and calm, because he couldn’t pretend that this was nothing. This was everything and if it went wrong… “It’ll all be fine,” he promises, kissing Sebastian quickly picking up the book on the bed. “I’m just going to do some reading…” He should at least know _something_ about what was going to happen.

Sebastian grins then. “I’m going to find some food. I’m starving. I might order some pizzas. Do you feel like anything?”

Jenson watches Sebastian roll out of bed, trying hard to not let his amusement show too much at the sight, because his boyfriend made it look like a lot of effort. “I’ll just have a little something of yours…”

“You’re not eating my pizzas,” Sebastian states, eyes darkening in a warning. “They’re mine and Sebastian’s.”

“Fine just get double of whatever you’re having for me.” At least there would be leftovers and would cater for Sebastian’s munchies in the middle of the night.

 

*          *          *

 

Jenson was engrossed in his book, and he had decided that there was nothing fascinating about childbirth, it seemed to him like the most disgusting thing ever and some people needed their heads checked for wanting to do this more than once. And Sebastian wanted him to remain calm through out it all? Clearly Sebastian hadn’t finished the book!

“Jenson!”

Sebastian calling for him has Jenson on his feet in an instant because there was clear panic in his tone and he rushes to the bedroom to find Sebastian sitting up and hugging his stomach. “What happened!?”

“Something’s wrong,” Sebastian gasps before he moans in pain. “She’s…Jensoooooooooon!” Sebastian cries his name out loudly throwing himself back down on the bed before snapping quickly into a ball, holding his stomach tightly, where he then tried to catch his breath. “Something’s very wrong,” he gasps again.

“I’m calling an ambulance,” Jenson states rushing away to get his phone because if Sebastian was in labour it was too early and he _needed_ to be at hospital because this baby wasn’t just going to come out without some help. Sebastian was clearly in the early stages of labour because there was enough time between contractions for Jenson to help Sebastian get changed and pack everything together.

He wasn’t even panicking yet, but asking for reassurance from Sebastian that he was following their set plan wasn’t the time because Sebastian was looking far too pale and his eyes had glazed with pain, in between screaming. And Sebastian was screaming, it sounded like he was being ripped a part and for one moment Jenson has images of some alien child inside his boyfriend trying to rip it’s way out, in what would be an undoubtedly bloody and gory scene. Sebastian just about crushing his hand pulls him back from his horror images.

When medics finally do arrive there were far too many questions and repeating of, “Is he pregnant?” that Jenson was verging towards hysteria because Sebastian didn’t look so good. There was no more screaming, just a white faced Sebastian that sounded like he couldn’t catch his breath and was no longer aware of what was going on around them. Jenson thinks he looks like he’s _dying_ and he's fucking terrified. And when the medics finally react and give Sebastian pain killers neither of them seemed very confident about anything and they were scrambling around Sebastian urgently and treating him, Jenson’s pretty sure they think he’s going to die as well.

In the ambulance he clings to Sebastian’s hand tightly, unaware of anything going on around him as he silently pleads at his boyfriend to not slip away from him. Sebastian just stares at him from heavy eyes with a dopey smile on his face.

“I hope she’s okay,” he whispers to Jenson. His eyes slide closed for a long moment before reopening once more and Jenson’s heart can keep beating. “I wanted to meet her…”

Jenson shoves a hand in Sebastian’s hair then, grasping a fistful, voice threatening. “Of course you’ll meet her! Don’t say things like that!”

“You’ll love her right?” Sebastian pleads, “Please love her.”

“Sebi, stop that,” Jenson was begging in return tears springing to his eyes because he swears Sebastian looks further away, can see something fading in his eyes.

“Jens…I…love you…”

“Sebi?” Jenson sits up because there was far too many alarms going off, the monitors that show his heart rate were now a flat line and Jenson is sure his was the same. He swears his world just stopped as he kisses Sebastian’s cheek that was wet with what could only be his own tears. “You said you didn’t say that because I wouldn’t say it back,” he croaks, “You’re not even giving me the chance…”

He’s forcibly torn away then, Sebastian gone in an instant surrounded so completely by doctors Jenson couldn’t even see him on the bed. He stands in the entry to emergency completely lost, not sure what he was meant to do because everything was just taken from him. He was alone. So he just sits in the first chair he sees and waits. He couldn’t do anything but wait.

 

*          *          *

 

“Jenson Button?” There’s a nurse smiling at him unsure as she holds a handful of charts. 

“Is Sebastian okay? Can I see him?” Jenson was on his feet then, suddenly spurred into action despite the three hours wait where he’d been told nothing.

“Sebastian is still in surgery, but you are able to come and meet your son,” she offers instead.

Jenson’s floored then, and it wasn’t simply because he’d let Sebastian convince him that they were going to have a daughter but because he _has a son_. “I have a son?”

“Yes you do. Three and a half weeks early but he’s in perfect health and doing wonderfully,” she replies.

And then shocked and dazed, Jenson just follows till he’s been lead to the baby nursery for premature babies. And soon he was standing over a crib that held a small wrinkled pink thing in a blue blanket, asleep and just…perfect.

“Would you like to hold him?”

The offer has Jenson shake his head but he’s soon being handed the wrapped bundle and he awkwardly tries to find a position to hold him in. The baby was stirring, uncomfortable and he voices that with a wail. “What? Am I hurting him?” Jenson was moving to put the baby back down but the chuckling nurse assists in showing him how to hold him correctly and a few minutes later his son was back to sleeping, a little sigh leaving his little lips as drifts off.

“Had you and Sebastian chosen any names? I can get you to fill out some paperwork if you have?”

Names? Jenson stops at that because they hadn’t discussed names. Sebastian had chosen the only name and it was meant for a girl. But maybe things work out a certain way for a reason. “His name is Sebastian. Sebastian John.” If he was going to let Sebastian name the kid after himself, he was bloody well picking the middle name, choosing to name him after his father.

“It’s lovely,” she smiles. Jenson tries hard to keep in his snort because he’s sure she said that about all the names and he’d love to see her say that with a straight fast if she knew what Sebastian’s original choice was. “I’ll let you know when you can see Sebastian. It won’t be much longer I’m sure.”

“Okay,” Jenson murmurs back to gazing down at his son. His perfect son, who he could never think about not wanting anymore. “I’m an idiot sometimes,” he whispers lifting his son so he could kiss the top of his head. “Just don’t tell your other dad that okay? He likes being right far too much already.”

 

*          *          *

 

“I want to change his diaper,” Sebastian murmurs as he strokes the cheek of his son he was holding. 

Jenson smiles and moves to nuzzle his neck. “Seb, I promise, it’s a boy. I’m not pulling your leg.”

“I know that,” Sebastian huffs. “He looks like a boy and he’s perfect and I love him…but I just want to change him.”

“You’ll wake him up.”

“That’s okay, he’ll go back to sleep,” Sebastian moves to place little Sebastian on the bed between his legs.

“Let him sleep,” Jenson goes to stop him but it was more because he could see the pain movement caused Sebastian right now. “You need to rest as well.”

“I am fine,” Sebastian mutters but he does moves to sit back up and lean against his mountain of pillows, hugging his son closely. “You really okay with the name?”

“Of course, I put it on his certificate didn’t I?” Jenson hadn’t yet told Sebastian he had changed the middle name but that could wait. “We’re going to have to think up something to call him other than ‘Sebastian’ or ‘Seb’ because that’s going to become confusing quickly.”

“Jens?” Sebastian murmurs after a long while of them just staring at sleeping little Sebastian.

“Hmmm?”

“He’s the best thing ever, better than my championships,” he confesses.

“Yeah, he is,” Jenson agrees. He drops his head to Sebastian’s shoulder. “You’re better than my championship too.” Sebastian goes stiff at that and Jenson lifts his head to look at the anxious expression on Sebastian’s face and the excitement in his eyes. “I love you too Seb.” It suddenly didn’t feel like the hardest thing in the world to say, but maybe that was because he nearly lost the opportunity to say it altogether.

“I can’t believe you waited till I nearly died to say that,” Sebastian says hugging him with one arm tightly. “Idiot.”

“Such a sweetie you are Sebi,” Jenson pouts before it’s kissed hard.

“I love you,” Sebastian murmurs, “But that still doesn’t mean you get to call me Sebi.” Jenson grins at him, because Sebastian would always be his Sebi, that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

 

*          *          *

 

Jenson had been having a nice conversation with Martin when he realised that the pressure on his shoes was gone. One glance down shows that his son was no longer sitting on his feet. How come he was the one _always_ losing his son. “Basti? Bastian!” he calls out looking around the garage frantically.

For someone that had only recently mastered the skill of walking he could sure move quick. Garage clear he makes his way to the pitlane which thankfully was empty and there was no testing currently underway. He spies his son waddling down the pitlane before stopping to pick something up and put it in his mouth.

“Oh god,” Jenson groans running to catch up. “Basti! Don’t walk away from me!” He shakes his son then, upside down to get whatever was in his mouth to fall out. Amidst the immediate giggling, Jenson sees a clump of tyre marble fall out. “Why do you have to eat _everything_?” His son was truly disgusting sometimes.

He cradles him in his arms like he was still a baby, but Bastian was definitely not a baby anymore, he’d had his first birthday three months ago. His son struggles to break free from the hold, but Jenson just tightens his grip “I think it’s time we find you another babysitter.” It was Sebastian’s turn to look after their never still child.

“Don’t pout,” Jenson says as he was given the same look Sebastian gives him when he doesn’t get his way. He still marvelled at the fact that Bastian was both of them, he looked more like Jenson but he acted more like Sebastian for the most part. He had a pouty, demanding son that let the world know when he didn’t get what he wanted. He hoped he could worm it out of Bastian, because Sebastian was a lost cause.

When they reach the Red Bull garage, Jenson sets Bastian down who runs immediately towards his other father, throwing himself at the pair of race overall covered legs. Jenson can only roll his eyes when there’s a pathetic sob that comes from their son. Sebastian just raises an eyebrow as he leans down to ruffle Bastian’s hair.

“He’s probably just tired,” Jenson says shrugging. “And hungry.”

Sebastian leans down to scoop up their son, throwing him up in the air before catching him. “I’m starving too,” Sebastian says to his son who was squealing with laughter, sobs gone. “I could eat a horse.”

“Did you skip breakfast?” Jenson asks as they head out the back of the garage to get food.

“No, I ate heaps of breakfast…” Sebastian trails off quietly and gives Jenson a nervous smile that has Jenson’s stomach plummet. “I’m sure it’s nothing. I’m just extra hungry.”

Jenson has to be pulled along then because what if… He shakes his head. He was being ridiculous. It wasn’t possible. Definitely _not possible_. But when they’re eating lunch together, Sebastian with an extra tray to cater for all his food, Jenson’s not quite so sure. He watches as Bastian leans over to pick at Sebastian’s pasta and winces.

“No Basti! That’s mine. You can’t have it!”

Oh god. Jenson’s head hits the table as his son crying slides off his chair next to Sebastian to climb into Jenson’s lap. Someone kill him now.

*


End file.
